I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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