Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
nutella sex= disaster
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
