THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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