Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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