3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
