He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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