talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
