he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
