I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize