I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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