Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I AM VODKA MAN
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize