Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
