everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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