They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
