And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize