yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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