Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's even glitter on my cock...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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