She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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