Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
