Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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