alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
