Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
