Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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