My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize