you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
