I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
