operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize