how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
