Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
