we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
