Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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