I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
