On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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