We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
