Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
