that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
