i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
