the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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