you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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