On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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