Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
