There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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