I cockslap morals
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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