AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
