my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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