so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
accomplished twins. life is a go
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize