Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
