I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
