Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize