it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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