I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need to align my fucking chakras
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