8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
