also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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