Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
