I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
