Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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