Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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