tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
