You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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