i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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