David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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