Tell her she can't have a vagina
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
