I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Your cock deserves a montage
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
