So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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