Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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