i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
