I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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