We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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