His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
