ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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