ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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