like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
