Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
