I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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